Looking back over the past 15+ years at my journey as an independent musician and thinking on my (first) band, the Machine in the Garden, I’m struck by how hard it was back then. Not that it’s not hard to be a musician now, but sometimes I’m amazed at all the hurdles we overcame fifteen years ago when releasing our first full-length album, Underworld, independently in 1997. Having both been on a label and also self-released I see the pros and cons of both. (I have nine albums under my belt with my two bands: 6 on a label and 3 without.)

In 1996, I met Roger and when I realized how incredibly talented he was, I begged him to let me join his band. Then I pretty quickly convinced him that we needed to release a CD. By ourselves. It was crazy! I had no idea what we were getting into but we’d already been rejected from every label in our genre so a self-release was the only way we were getting out there. 

Recording music back then wasn’t the same as it is now. You could spend tons of money on studio time or you could spend tons of money building your own studio. We recorded Underworld at our condo (yes, in a condo) in 1997 using Studio Vision Pro with a digital audio card with two channels. Yes, that means we had two tracks of audio available to us at any given time. Without getting super technical, I’ll just say we definitely had to be creative at times. Now it’s so much easier, you can just grab a cheap laptop and a mic and start recording music right away. These days, the Machine in the Garden releases are recorded using Logic and Mirabilis songs are recorded with ProTools on a Mac Pro (yes, that means Roger and I each prefer a different application for recording and mixing). 

All our gear back then was outboard - all the effects, drum machine, keyboards, mixer - everything was a separate piece of pricey equipment. And then we recorded it all to a DAT (how quaint!) and then sent it off to be mastered. If a mix didn’t sound right, we had to completely start over. We couldn’t just fire it up in the computer with all the knobs in the same spot and tweak something. Given all the limitations we had, it’s sometimes amazing to me that the album sounds as good as it does. I listen to it now and I feel like it sounds crazy good for the resources we had. 

Then there was the artwork and manufacturing. We had a friend take our album photo (okay, so we still rely on friends for a lot of our official photography) and we did everything in two colors (magenta and black) to save money. We printed all the booklets locally (it was cheaper) and then shipped them to the CD replication plant to be put together with the CDs. I’m fairly certain we still have all the films used to make the artwork. (Film! How cute!) 

As far as costs went, we were so naive, we simply did some math. If the CDs cost X amount of dollars each to manufacture, then we only have to sell X number at X dollars each to break even. Well, it turns out, it doesn’t work that way. We suddenly had all these other costs. There were all the costs of the studio we had built (well, mostly Roger had built) over the years, but suddenly we  also needed to market the thing. We ran ads, mailed out promos to radio stations, clubs, DJs, magazines and more, and we made posters (to this day we still have some left over). That didn’t include the costs of playing shows (yes, costs, you don’t make anything playing live). We didn’t (and still don’t) play live a lot, but we did what we could. 

Marketing was so hard then - the Internet was just barely making it’s way into the mainstream (the original iMac was still nearly a year away when “Underworld” came out) but we did have a good number of followers on the Internet and there were some primitive types of social media (webrings, anyone?).

We ended up pretty badly in debt from that release, which took us some years to pay off. After that we gained a label (for better or worse, sometimes both at the same time) and increased our following. Underworld has been out of print for years in physical form (but it’s available in digital format if you’ve never heard it: http://tmitg.bandcamp.com/album/underworld). I was just a kid, really, at 20 years old when we released that album, but Underworld holds a special place in my heart being my first ever release. I think, strangely, that the album still holds up today and I still enjoy listening to the songs we created together 15 years ago. 

In 1917 my great-great-grandmother Kate Stafford went to Washington during the movement to adopt the 19th amendement. After picketing and demonstrations at the White House, she was sent to a Virginia jail with 41 other women. Although sentenced from 15-30 days each, most of the women served only a week to 10 days after a food strike was started. Many of the women were force-fed and some stayed in prison longer before President Wilson bailed all the women out. 

Later, suffrage leader Alice Paul (see note below) had a little gate representing a jail cell door cast in silver as a charm and sent it to each of the women who was imprisoned with her. Regrettably, Kate Stafford’s charm was later stolen in a robbery. I now have a replica pin like the one she had so I will never forget her hard work and bravery. Although my family no longer has the original keepsake, we do have something more important to remember her by - our right to vote. Her determination, and that of the other women who fought with her, will never be lost as long as women continue to go make our voices heard. Thanks to women like my great-great-grandmother, we are able to vote on this election day. I’m proud to carry on her legacy and vote in this election. 

Please go out and cast your vote. Make your voice heard.

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* Alice Paul is not the most well-known of the suffrage leaders. You’ve probably heard of Susan B. Anthony as the head of the movement, but without both women, we probably wouldn’t have had suffrage when we did. Susan B. Anthony preferred a more subdued approach: meetings, petitions, pressure on various members of Congress, etc.. Alice Paul preferred a more public approach: demonstrations, rallies, picketing, etc. They didn’t particularly agree on how things should be done and they didn’t really get along, but I think both had her place and both definitely made a difference. 

My great-great-grandmother took up with Alice Paul. If you are interested in further reading, please let me know and I can recommend some books. There was also an HBO movie awhile back starring Hillary Swank as Alice Paul called “Iron Jawed Angels.” It’s fairly good and mostly accurate.

I’m not really sure what I was thinking about when I created a tumblr. I guess a place to store all the disparate junk that goes on in my life. But it sometimes feels like yet another social media thingie I have to keep up with. 

I used to write in my LJ all the time and I really enjoy going back and reading about where I was back then. So why can’t I get it together and write in this tumblr thingie? It should be less pressure, right? Just show little blips? I dunno.

I think I’m busy. I’m about to ramp into training for a race: Vineman full aquabike. What is that? It’s an Ironman without the marathon: 2.4 miles of swimming and 112 miles of biking. I like running, but it isn’t my favorite thing and it was between that or another half Ironman and I decided to try something different. Also, I thought it might help whip my bike into better shape. I focused on my running so much last year and it really paid off, but my bike suffered. So I’m going to ride my bike a lot this summer. 

I’ve also been working a lot on growing my baby hat business. I have a new website and I’m making a ton of hats, which is great and I do enjoy it. 

On the music front, Dru’s coming out…soonish. I can’t even remember when. This summer, kinda? At any rate, I need to start prepping for some Mirabilis work. 

And, oh yah, I’m helping a small human grow and learn. No small task, that. But it’s awesome and I every day I know I made the right choice to stay home with her. Even if I do love the two mornings a week she goes to pre-school and I get a little time to myself! 

Huh. That was actually a pretty long update!

I had no real goals when it came to this year’s 3M. The last time I ran it was in 2007 and this year was a different course. I was thinking the course would be a little easier this year, but I didn’t really know how fast I should aim for. I decided to try to pace it similar to my half in August in San Diego and see if I could get the 2:10 I missed out there. 

The whole household had been sick during the peak of my training so I missed my longest run before the race. My longest run was 9.5 miles 3 weeks prior, then I missed a week and had a crummy 7.5 mile run the weekend before. 

Pre-race was all smooth. I got a ride in with my friend Dan, which I was grateful for because it meant I didn’t have to deal with stashing my key somewhere or pick up the car after the race.  I lined up with the 2:10 pacers, thinking I’d just stay with them and see how it went. We started and it took me about 5 minutes to get to the starting line, then I just started running. 

I lost sight of the pace group right away, but I realized they were behind me. The first few miles I knew I was running a little faster than my plan, but it was downhill and my heart rate was quite low and I felt good so I just went with it. 

When I arrived at mile 6, I was starting to feel a little tired and I wondered if the two and a half weeks of coughing I did leading up to the race was catching up to me. I also was worried I went out too fast for the first few miles. 

Those middle miles around 7-9 were sort of hard mentally. The course was easy so I’m not sure what was going on there. I just needed….something encouraging. Then the 2:10 pace group passed me and I couldn’t keep up with them and that was discouraging. I eventually lost sight of them and that was a real bummer. We turned around mile 10 and I knew I should start to try to pick it up. I saw Betsy and soon after I saw my friend Bruce and seeing them was really helpful. 

Then I got to mile 11 and I realized if I could pick it up and run close to a 9:30 pace for the final two miles, I could get close to 2:10 and a PR. So I somehow picked it up. I knew if I could just run faster, I would be done sooner and the pain was only temporary, but I’d never forgive myself if I were so close to 2:10 and missed it. 

Getting close to mile 13 we turned and went up a little hill that felt just horrible and brutal. And I saw the 2:10 pace group again! I never caught them again, but at least I could spot them. Then we turned and could see the finish line. I gave every last bit I had and felt like I was sprinting (in reality, I wasn’t). I looked at my watch and saw..2:10:55!!  I just BARELY got to see 2:10, but I was super excited to have a PR by nearly 2 minutes over the PR I had in August. (And 5 minutes faster than my time at this race in 2007). 

Let’s see…what happened this year?

The year started with Roger in the midst of training for his first marathon while I worked on my first half-marathon since Emmaline’s birth (my 4th half-marathon overall). Regrettably I was sick off and on for a good part of the training, including within days of the race and things didn’t go so well for me and I vowed revenge before the year was out.  

In February I entered a cake decorating contest, making a Coraline cake. I won third place in my division and learned a lot. I made a few more cakes through the year, though I’m not sure I’m going to do the cake show again. It was a lot of work! 

Roger had bad training luck with his marathon, as well and had a difficult time with injuries. Plus training for a marathon with a 2 year old can be tricky. In March we went to Napa and despite everything, Roger ran a great race and had a good 40th birthday. It was perhaps not as fast as it could have been, but he still did great and we enjoyed a nice vacation and Emmaline had fun visiting with Janma and Steve. 

Later in the spring, we headed to Corpus Christi for the second year in a row for a little beach getaway. This year Roger’s mom and her husband met us there and we had a nice little family vacation and even did a little race there. 

Through the summer, I did several triathlons, but primarily focused on training up for a half marathon in San Diego in August. It was an incredibly hot summer and perhaps not the best timing, but it made my running SO much better (at the detriment to my biking, however).

In July Emmaline turned 3 and I turned 35. We had a great party for her with friends and, of course, a cake. Through the summer, I worked hard on my sun hats and they did better than the previous year. I have big plans to sell even more hats in the coming year *fingers crossed*

At 3, Emmaline is becoming a little girl, definitively leaving babyhood behind. She spent the year enjoying music, gymnastics, and drawing. She loves anything creative and crafty and is, for the most part, a very happy little girl with a fun sense of humor. 

In August, she and I went to San Diego to visit my mom (leaving poor Roger in the 100+ heat). I ran America’s Finest Cities Half Marathon and while I didn’t quite hit my goal time, I still had a PR and more importantly, a good enjoyable race. We spend the rest of our time in San Diego enjoying the Wild Animal Park and Legoland (which was a big hit). 

Arriving back at home, I did one of my favorite races - The Austin Triathlon. It was a tough day (with the run focus over causing my swim and bike to be lacking) but I was glad I did it. I rounded out my season with 10k and 5k PRs, taking a break before starting to ramp up to 3M half-marathon (which will be number 6) coming up at the end of January. 

After labor day, Emmaline started two-morning-a-week preschool. She loves going to school and it gives me a nice break as well. She’ll return there in January and in February we’ll add formal gymnastics class once a week. (Taking a break from music class which she took this past year.)

For Thanksgiving, the three of us headed to Seattle to visit Roger’s family. We stayed with his brother and sister-in-law and my mother-in-law and her husband also came into town. Seattle was cold and rainy and just what we needed to reset after a hot and dry summer. We had a nice time with family there enjoying a trip to the space needle, some shopping, a chocolate factory tour and of course, lots of coffee. 

For Christmas, my mom and her husband came and a grand time was had by all (despite some head colds we all caught). 

In the coming year, I’m starting with the 3M Half Marathon with no time goals whatsoever. We’re heading out for a couple getaways. In May we’ll meet up with Roger’s family in Nashville and then in July we’re headed back to Napa where I’m going to do a swim/bike event there (a full Iron-distance “Aquabike” race).

We’re looking forward to the year ahead!

I went last week to see Tori Amos live. The last time I saw her, for the Beekeeper tour, she was so fantastic I vowed that I would never miss her again. Well, of course, life intervened and I had a beautiful little girl and missed Tori for her last couple of tours. 

I purchased her new album when it came out and while I was initially wary, I’ve found it to be one of her strongest albums. Ever. It’s full of life, emotion and complex musical themes. I was very excited to hear she would be traveling with a string quartet. I vowed not to worry about my difficult little sleeper at home, trying to go to bed without me (with my mom and husband teaming up) for the first time ever. 

The first song of the evening was “Shattering Sea” which is also the first song on the new album, and one of my favorites. To say I welled up a bit is an understatement. I sat on the edge of my seat with tears streaming down my face. Even in the last row of the orchestra section, her power and emotion radiated through the theatre. 

I cannot imagine she is not exhausted at the end of her performances. She puts it ALL out there. She is 100% there for her audience and her grace and appreciation for her fans is evident. Whatever you think of her music, I defy anyone not to find her to be an exceptional musician and charismatic performer.

Her set that evening was a bit of a mix.  She played a number of my favorite songs, notably, “Lust,” “Suede,” “Spark,” “Siren,” “Cruel,” and “Cloud on my Tongue.” It was a somewhat strange mix of songs, I have to say. I was surprised at how many songs she played from Little Earthquakes and that she did not play any from Abnormally Attracted to Sin or The Beekeeper. In all fairness, she has a LOT of albums and can’t necessarily play something from everything, but it was interesting that she gave equal weight to the number of songs from her new album as she did from her very first, released nearly 20 years ago. 

It was a wonderful evening and as I listened to each song, I could, in my cases, recall certain periods of my life, even specific moments when I was listening to those songs and the effect they had on me at the time. It was an incredible journey and I look forward to the gift of more of her music in the future and I’ll do what I can to see her live again. 

I’ve been asked at various points, by friends and family, about how I like my Kindle Fire so I thought I would write up a proper sort of review. The bottom line is that I like it and it meets with my expectations. It isn’t quite as slick in it’s functionality as the Apple products I love so well, but the iPad is simply too big, too expensive and too…much for what I really needed a tablet to do. 

I’d been attracted to the Kindle for awhile, but I didn’t want a device that just did one thing. I also wanted something with a backlight so I could use it in the dark. When the Fire was announced, I realized that it met with my criteria and the $200 price tag was within my budge. I also liked the much smaller size of the Kindle Fire (as opposed to an iPad). 

It does everything I need it to. I use it primarily to read books (and I was already committed to the Kindle platform, reading previously on my iPhone and iPod Touch) but I also like to read email, check twitter and Facebook and sometimes play a couple of games. 

That said, I here are my complaints:

- It’s too bright, especially when reading in the dark. Even with the brightness turned all the way down, it’s absurdly bright. Not only is this hard on the eyes, but it’s a power drain as well. Thankfully, I was able to side-load a third party app onto it in order to dim the screen. 

- It’s not always as snappy or peppy as it could be and apps (particularly the browser) can crash or become unresponsive. 

- The touch sensitivity can be wonky at times. Sometimes I have to tap several times to get it to register and sometimes it swipes when I tap and vise versa. 

- There are no (hardware) volume buttons. If you need to suddenly adjust the volume on the fly, you have to go to the menu option to do it. 

- There is no (hardware) home button. Again, you have to get to the menu to get the home button. This is activated by tapping on the screen. But again, sometimes with the tap/swipe confusion, I end up going back and forth between pages in my book before I can get the menu to activate. 

- The power button is located on the bottom of the unit and I often find myself accidentally touching it when I’m holding it or if I rest it on a surface. It would have been better placed on the side or the top. 

- The main home screen is annoying. It features a GIANT carousel of recently used apps and then under that you can set your favorites. Then there’s a menu across the top to get to separate screens for apps, books, etc. I’d rather just have it laid out like my iPhone with apps arranged how I’d like them. Also you can’t create folders so if you have zillions of apps or books or whatever, you can’t really organize them neatly on each of those separate screens.

This seems like a long list of quibbles, but again, for $200 it’s a good product. The design/UI just needs to be a little sleeker. I hate too sound too much like a fangirl, but Apple really has that stuff down. Other companies reinvent the wheel and the result is often a much clunkier version. It’s workable, but I do prefer iOS. Would I buy it again, though? Definitely. It does what I need, in a size I find desirable at a price point within my budget.

I’m so incredibly honored that TheSkysGoneOut selected “Before and After the Storm” as a top pick in his 20 best goth/darkwave albums of 2011. (See previously reblogged post.) Listening to his show is always a highlight of my week and we are in incredible company. I had fair warning that we’d be on the list, and I hoped we’d make the top 10, but number 3 is just astounding. I’m so proud of the album. (As a side note, it’s on sale from our site right now if you still need to pick up one of the limited edition physical CDs.)

I have to say there were a lot of good releases this year - lots of new music to draw inspiration from. I had originally envisioned that I would come up with some kind of top 10 list myself and write a mini review of each album I liked, but I can’t really come up with any kind of order (I’m astounded Jason was able to put 20 albums in some kind of order). 

Here’s what I’ve been listening to this year:

Tori Amos - Night of Hunters

I was unsure how this was going to turn out when I first heard about it, but it’s completely blown me away. There are so many beautiful songs on this album, it’s hard to pick favorites, but I love the moments when she sings with her daughter and her niece. It really adds a beautiful dimension. The music is beautiful and lush and her singing is in top form. It’s her best album in years. I can’t wait to see her this Wednesday. Buy it here. 

Life On Planet 9 - Bittersweet

I was worried about this one, too. My friend Pete is an incredibly talented musician. He’s leant his skills to both Mirabilis albums and has done some great remixes for the Machine in the Garden as well. He has a wide range of styles, but his bands Ultraspank and Lo-Pro are actually fairly well-known in hard rock circles. When I heard Pete was doing a mellower acoustic/electronic thing, I wasn’t so sure about it, but as soon as I heard it, I was blown away. Pete’s voice is stunning and the music is unique, fresh and genre-bending (in a good way). Buy it here. 

Azam Ali - From Night to the Edge of Day

I will always buy anything Azam Ali releases without hesitation. She is one of my all-time favorite vocalists and I have loved everything she has touched. She is an incredible musician and the depth of her talent is astounding. This album is more mellow than some other releases, but it is no less beautiful. I do miss some of her more upbeat music with Vas and her short-lived foray into what is almost goth-rock with Roseland. “From Night to the Edge of Day” is mostly a lullaby to her son. Having a child almost the same age makes this album particularly meaningful to me. Buy it here. 

Puscifer - Conditions of My Parole

I wasn’t even going to buy this. I really do like Tool (I know, *gasp*) and A Perfect Circle, but what I’d heard from Maynard James Keenan’s other project, Puscifer was sort of, well, weird. But I sampled some of the tracks and was blown away. This is another great example of a completely genre-bending album that explores all new territory. And it’s all held together by Maynard James Keenan’s fantastic vocals. The addition of some female vocalists and guest musicians only strengthens the album. A reviewer (possibly Mick Mercer) once said of my music something to the effect of “none of the songs sound the same but they all sound fantastic and cohesive.” I always thought that was such a high compliment and I feel the same about this Puscifer album. Buy it here. 

KidneyThieves - The Invisible Plan (EP)

I was really glad when KidneyThieves got back together recently. They really are such a talented duo. Free’s vocals are full of emotion without getting too chest-voice ear-piercy screamy (I’m looking at you Amy Lee). Last year’s full-length release, “Trypt0fanatic,” was off-the-charts good. I rarely have an album that doesn’t require me to skip a song (even my own…) but every song was perfection. This little EP is really great. Maybe not as jaw-droppingly fantastic as “Trypt0fanatic,” but still a great little collection of songs. What I really need is another full-length. Buy it here. 

Above & Beyond - Group Therapy

When I go running, I like to listen to something more upbeat. Very upbeat, in fact and I’ve gotten in vocal trance. (Or dance? I dunno really what it’s called.) Don’t judge or jump to conclusions too quickly. This album is one of the few that I will listen to when I’m not running. From the cinematic sweeping instrumental at the beginning, to some of the more dance-floor friendly tracks, this is a visionary collection of songs. But what really makes this album are the vocals of Richard Bedford and Zoe Johnston. I was familiar with Johnston from her work with Sleepthief but the song “Only a Few Things” is her best work - EVER. I regularly get something on both my eyes when I listen to the ethereal beauty of this song. Yes, ethereal, on a trance CD. Who would’ve thought? Buy it here. 

Peter Murphy - Ninth/The Secret Bees of Ninth

The grandfather of goth is back and he’s kicking ass. I love so many of the songs on this CD, it makes up for his last lackluster release. It moves through all the high notes that make him great. There are a few ho-hum tracks, but the good ones make up for it. But what really make up for them are is the companion EP, “The Secret Bees of Ninth.” Why weren’t these tracks on the CD? Their mellow melancholy perfectly compliments the upbeat nature of “Ninth.” Don’t miss this little gem.  Buy “Ninth” here and “The Secret Bees of Ninth” here. 

Soriah with Ashkelon Sain - Eztica 

I don’t even know how to describe this CD. It’s such an interesting musical adventure, I feel like I need to listen to it a few more times at least to really figure it out. Even then, I’m not sure I ever will. Tribal and upbeat at times and contemplative at other times, the CD really shines when Soriah sings. The Tuvan Throat Singing he does is entirely remarkable and unique. This is a mesh of different styles, cultures and instruments. Definitely for those wanting to explore something completely and entirely unique. Buy it here.